Every town has a Boris

This is Boris. Every town has a Boris.

You know: someone slightly odd. Someone who roams the streets alone, laughing, shouting and having an imaginary conversation with a person who’s clearly not there.

Someone you cross the road to avoid, because you know that his cheery, mild-mannered exterior is likely to turn nasty at any moment, for no apparent reason.

For just breathing, coughing, scratching your nose, or daring to overtake on the pavement, your town’s Boris might hurl the worst form of verbal abuse at you, or even lunge out with his fist.

Then, as if nothing had happened, he would turn back to his imaginary friend and continue his light-hearted banter about buses, sprouts, flat-pack furniture … or anything.

Of course, he might not be called Boris. Your town’s odd person could go by another name … or you may not know his name at all.

Truth be told, I don’t know for certain if Boris is our odd person’s name, but he looks like a Boris, don’t you think?

He specialises in limping up and down our high street, bellowing: ‘Seed plants! Seed plants!’ Don’t ask me why. Maybe he comes from an agricultural background?

He also chucks clothes pegs at anyone that annoys him, which happens quite a lot. He’s an expert shot, so do watch out.

Maybe you have a Boris in your town. Tell me about him (or her) by leaving a comment below.